Hello, everyone! I know, I know. It’s been so long since I’ve written. I’ve had many exasperated conversations with friends who don’t understand why I don’t write more. It’s not that I don’t want to. It must be annoying to keep checking back and keep seeing the same entry from November. Thank you for bearing with me, seriously.
It’s just that often, I feel like what I have to say wouldn’t be that interesting. Like, I just joined Twitter and I haven’t said anything in three days because my first entries went like this: Yay, I love coffee. Yay, I joined Twitter. Okay. So… now what? Ultimately, you guys have to be the judge of that and not me, so I humbly defer to all y’all.
Anyway. My point being… I’ve recently been inspired. Really inspired.
I had a sit-down conversation with myself a few months ago, where I decided that maybe I wanted to branch out a bit more. I love what I’ve been able to do with my life thus far. I definitely want to keep doing it, but the reality is that 99% of it lies out of my control. The 1% is preparing and showing up for auditions. The remainder is up to what absolutely everyone else involved wants, and that’s totally okay with me. It is what it is, and I chose to do this with eyes wide open. But I found that I was starting to feel increasingly sorry for myself.
So, I decided to start teaching part-time. That’s where I’ve been the past couple months. I love it, and a big part of that is selfish, because I feel like I’m the one that ends up learning the most. Granted, it’s not a 9 to 5 job, and I go from school to school teaching things that I am passionate about, which is a very special situation.
I just got back from Louisiana a couple weeks ago. I taught a two day workshop at the Louisiana School for the Deaf, and the teacher that arranged for me to be there chose to show a clip of the “Yes, We Can” video that I was in. We had more time than we expected at the end of the workshop, and the teacher wanted me to recite the chorus of the song to wrap up the workshop, which seemed like a good idea. So, we did, and the kids were amazing. They shouted “Yes, we can!” at the top of their lungs and were so totally engaged and thrilled.
For me, it felt like a total rebirth. I know that Obama winning the election meant so much to so many different people. I see people walking around with “Yes, We Did!” shirts, and I love seeing that. But, even now I still get a lot of questions from people who would ask me what exactly “Yes, we can” meant. Yes, we can… what?
I could partially understand that perspective before I went to Louisiana, because a lot of lofty principles and ideas were brought up in the speech Obama gave that inspired the video. It could seem a bit weighty, and it could be seen as though he was making generalizations.
But when I saw those kids screaming that simple message, “Yes, we can!” back at me, I realized then that it’s only the privilege of being an adult that allows us to take away from that. It takes the experience of disappointment and bitterness to make us feel like we can’t do what we hope to do in our lives.
I know I’ve felt like that in the past few months, and I’ll probably will again. But when you really get down to basics, it’s a choice I made to feel that way. Either we believe we can or we believe we can’t. It takes an equal amount of commitment and investment either way.
After I saw these kids in Louisiana, some who still live in poverty after being severely affected by the hurricanes, and some of who are still displaced, so ready to believe in the positive and choose the good… well, it made me feel more than humbled.
It made me feel stupid. And I loved that. Thank you, LSD.
photo credit: tate tullier, www.tatetullier.com